Happy Thanksgiving!!

-Insect collection almost done!!

-NaNo count is up further! =3

-Should I actually go through it and write songs for my AiW fanfiction (DDDDDD= *terrified*) or should I not try and a. not have to kill myself and b. lose some of that "Wonderland" factor? I'm pretty stuck on that, since I'll either cut chapter 3 off where I am now or write a song for it since it's in the perfect spot for one if I put one in (so help me GODS).

-My parents bought me a Wonderland Mad Tea Party teapot for my birthday! T_T I neeed to post pictures. It's so beautiful! (And not Disney! lol)


Happy Unbirthday!
<3Alice

...to say that:

-I turned 21 on Friday and ordered my first drink, a Bahama Mama. It was DELICIOUS.

-Houlihan's took off my dessert for my birthday! :D

-Ally is funny/happy/silly when she's a little on the tipsy side (and a little cuddly too lol)

-I've been neglecting my DA account and that's a sad thing.

-My NaNoWriMo is a JOKE and I am SO behind, it's like I've not only missed the schoolbus, but have been at home for two weeks going, "Hmmm, there was this... thing I had to do... What was it again?"

-I have been WRITING stuff for Tea Quiero, just not TYPING it. My vices, my vices!

-....35k over the weekend? Hopeful, but uh... AHAHAHAHHAHA

-I'm proud of my boyfriend for going back to college <3

-I'm learning how to play Warhammer 40k. As if the geekmeter couldn't go any higher... My army? Dark Eldar; specifically an army of Wychs and Ravagers headed by the sensually dangerous Lelith Hesperax...

-The Twitarded question on the front page of LJ is annoying me with its existence.

-Watching James teach me how to play Warhammer was pretty hot. Why?!? Not sure; Part of me thinks it was him geeking the hell out over it and finding that obnoxiously adorable. XD

-I need to sleep. O_o

-3-4 days = gobblegobblegobble yumyumyumyum! :3 (or, in the case of the vegetarians and vegan-oriented that read this: *silence* ...yumyumyumyum!)

<3Alice

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In September I ruled Canada as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). Last Wednesday I put money in tyrus's expired parking meter (14 points). Last Thursday I broke seltzeraddict's X-Box (-12 points). In October I pulled over and changed balderrask's flat tire (15 points). In June I helped glancesherlock see the light (8 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-675 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich! Sincerely, tea-holic

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

Fine. I always thought thought the Grinch was hot anyway, apparently it's meant to be. XD

My LiveJournal 12 Days
My True Love gave to me...
12 docsgirls a-raving.
11 crimsonescapades a-wiggling.
10 ladybows a-dancing.
9 seltzeraddicts a-laughing.
8 astronomylovers a-calling.
7 sundedesneidess a-bowing.
6 glancesherlocks a-squeaking.
5 red foxdiva9s.
4 grinning shadyblacksheeps.
3 Austrian transversecitys.
2 dog bubbles.
And a nomatch4me in a persimmon tree.
Get gifts! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Eh, so I only did a little bit more tonight.

But my mom found my AiW notebook with ALL my ideas/excerpts in it and dropped it off, so at least more will get done! Right now, Alice is with the Hare, the Tweedles, and Rabbit, confronting the Queen. After that is a small tea party scene and then CHAPTER 4! <3 I also typed up some later-on stuff.

Yup. It's moving too quickly though, idea-wise with the planned out chapters. I'm going to havee to figure out maybe how slow the chapters down, if I don't split them up. Maybe introduce something insane in the very middle. Humm. Maybe have Caterpillar do something TOTALLY epic. lol

We'll see.

7612 / 50000 words. 15% done!

<3Alice

I've been sleeping better, but I have a sinus infection or a form of bronchitis (what the nurse said) so I've been having trouble getting to sleep because I need to find a way to BREATHE. I've been waking up drooling, with a dry throat, and then I cough up crap and go EWWWW and wake up Gauri. O_O

7102 / 50000 words. 14% done!

Not so bad for last night, but I'll get more done today. I'm behind! However, I'm pretty much DONE with chapter 3 of Tea Quiero! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?? Chapter 4 is next! lmao

Mmm a shower, mucinex, and tea sounds like a plan. Then NaNo while I drink my Unbirthday tea in my Mad Tea Party teacup. Yes. And update DA and FF.net with chapter 3 once I get it up. ^_^

For those of you who've gotten 50,000 words before, how many chapters does that usually calculate out to for you?

Oh, oh yeah. I have to do stuff for school too don't I? Ahahahahahaha...
<3Ally

The past 4 days have been so insane. I'm just DRAINED. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I honestly don't know how I'm going to function this week. I really don't.

They buried him today, they gave him a military salute and played Taps and everything. It was just gorgeous.

This feels so surreal.
Like a long nightmare.
I keep thinking I'm going to wake up.

...I can't wake up.

I can't sleep either. Isn't that ironic?

I thought I heard footsteps on Grandma's stairs last night because I was sleeping in the hallway on the loft. Maybe I'm going completely crazy.

I woke up at 6 this morning (hah, I kept waking up at like every hour anyway) and went downstairs to put a casserole in the oven for Aunt Diane. Grandma woke up to, probably in case I didn't wake up. Maybe she couldn't sleep either. I got everything done and went to find her to tell her to please go to bed and she just came up to me, hugged me, and started crying on my shoulder. It was just... how do you explain something like that? How that feels? My poor grandma...

I came back today around 5 and slept until like 8. And when I got up, I felt so physically ILL. I had a fever (I was sooooo hot, yet I was cold too), I was achy (still am), I felt nauseous, I felt dizzy And I woke up today with a sore throat so that was nothing new. I feel better now, but still run down. I hope I don't have the flu, but it cant be the piggies because I'm vaccinated against it now. Maybe it was just before. I dunno if I should get tested for a flu strain. Maybe I should. I don't know.

Ugh.

Just make this week go away...?

R.I.P. Pop-Pop Nicky. 10-28-09
Life is not the same anymore.

I don't really know how many of you really read this or whatever, but I thought I should at least keep this up to date for those who do. My grandfather passed away on Wednesday night. I only found out Thursday afternoon, but I knew. I knew Wednesday. Because people were acting strange and the day felt weird. You know? I'm pretty fucked in the head right now, excuse the language. I mean, at least it didn't come as a big shock to any of us, but just knowing he won't be around is... traumatizing? It's weird. I had A LOT trouble sleeping last night. I'm still having trouble dealing with it. I guess that's part of grieving? I've never had a family member so prevalent in my life pass away, so this is new. New but definitely not exciting. =(

I found out around 5 yesterday, and James was here when my parents came to tell me in person. It was upsetting. I decided to stay here instead of going with them to dinner/tell my brother because it was hard enough for me. I didn't want to see my brother, he's sensitive and I just... couldn't watch it go down. Plus, I really REALLY wanted to go to the "Carnal Carnival" that BiG LARU (Bisexual Gay Lebian Alliance of RU) was putting on. (with a teeny bit of help from RU Pagans. We got there and basically our WHOLE small club was helping BiG LARU get ready. It was kinda pathetic (how small we are) and funny at the same time. XD)

I wanted to go even MORE after this to help take my mind off things. And it did. I had a TON of fun! I didn't stay through the showing of Rocky Horror because James wanted to see the BDSM demos, but that was fiiiine with me. I really enjoyed them, especially the Violet Wand demo!!! OMFG WE WANT ONE! We're definitely going to save up and split for one SOME day, because that thing is AWESOME. Sho tinglyyyy <3 lmao The whip and bondage ties demos were interesting too, and later Elayne introduced us to George, the whip guy, who showed us his bullwhip. That was kinda neat too. I was whipped! Mah parents would be so proud! :X It was stingy but nice. If that makes sense. James actually went HARDER than I did and still had welts this morning. O_O

Yeah, sorry if that totally was more than you needed to know about me. XD

I might volunteer for Wicked Faire. Elena is one of Jeff's partners, and he runs it, so she's trying to get me in. I'm friendly with Jeff, he comes to RU Pagans a lot, so I'll talk to him about it. Hope hope hope!! I can't wait to go, it would be bitchin' if I can get in for free after helping out for a while. We'll see about that!

Yeah. So, last night was definitely a weekend maker. It was SOOOOO much fun! At least out of this crappy week, I have James here to be by my side and the carnival to remember. I still need to find out who won the costume contest. James is going with me to the wake tomorrow, which I'm happy for. I'm going to need him there I think. Monday is the burial, so I won't be going to classes, which is not a problem, but I hate missing class.

At least this time of the year is appropriate, though solemn. Death and Samhain go hand in hand. Definitely doing a ritual to honor the dead tomorrow night with James. And it will prominently feature Pop-pop Nicky. =( R.I.P. Shnicky. 10-28-09. You were a character, and we love you. You'll be missed. May you always have your slippers. <3

<3Allison

The Potion Maker
tea_holicium is an opaque, oily violet liquid extracted from the flesh of a heffalump.
Mix with tea_holic! Username:
Yet another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern

Fitting for me. XD

Mix mine with yours and post a comment with what happens!! Then you can post and mix yours with other friends! :D

My Insect Bio assignment: "Draw a cladogram (evolution tree) based upon the monophyletic genus of caddisflies, Tweedledum, which contains seven extent BISEXUAL species whose adults are distinguishable only on the basis of characters of the MALE GENITALIA. Its closest genus, Tweedledee, and it are endemic (native) to Wonderland... blahblahblah."

Um. AWWWWWKWARRRRD. All I can think about is the TV show and it's weirding me out a great deal. XD

This would be a Back to the Future reference.

Actually, Bunting Cobb IS having Time Travel Night tonight, and is urging people to dress up as time travelers! Argh I SO want to go. It's in 5 minutes (8pm). But I don't feel like going anymore, which is weird. Maybe if they were playing Back to the Future instead of Donnie Darko I would put my corset and skirt on and go. I even was planning to go! I wore my "IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN TIME TRAVEL, MEET ME LAST THURSDAY" shirt. XD But, alas, I no longer feel like going. I'm just too fatigued today. Must be the weather. C'est la vie!


So downstairs in the basement of my dorm, there is like, an abandoned extra floor. Most of the rooms are used by the Rutgers maintenance workers, and we students go down there to do laundry. I swear someone could film a horror movie in this dorm. Even the bathroom on MY floor is kinda creepy! Anyway, there is also a lounge downstairs, which is a really nice lounge but NOBODY ever uses it. And I mean NOBODY. It's excellent for studying because it hardly ever gets disturbed, but it's kinda sad and wonderful at the same time. For one, I can go down there and meditate/study if I can stand to be down there alone, but on another hand, it's a little sad that I feel I'm the only one taking advantage of it.

My roommate and I have this kinda weird contract where my boyfriend James is only allowed to sleep over in our room one night every other week, with the exception of her going home on a weekend, holidays, etc. He had off Friday-Sunday last weekend, and since he wanted to stay until Sunday (and also because the weather was SO crappy!), we needed a place for him to stay. Now, the thing is, he wants me to stay with him. So I can't just kick him off somewhere. *rolls eyes lol* So after much deliberation, I'm like, "Why don't we stay downstairs in the basement lounge?" He was all, "Mehhhh... Meh..." so I said, "Let's TRY it, and if someone comes and kicks us out, we'll just go sleep in your car or some shit." Which would suck, btw, hahaha. That night, I take down a blanket and a pillow, do my laundry while I'm down there, do some readings for class... Only one person came in during a period of a few hours to go to the bathroom. Finally, around like 1 AM, I turn off the lights in the lounge and we go to sleep on a couch. IT WAS EFFING CREEPY IN THERE WITH THE LIGHTS TURNED OFF! Thank Gods I haven't seen "Paranormal Activity" yet or I would have been like OHMAHGAWDOHMAHGAWD... haha. In the end it worked out though. We slept until like freaking 11 in the morning and NOBODY came in and woke us up. Crazy shite! LOL

Yeah, true story. *shrugs*
<3Alice

Okay. Anyone who knows me (ESPECIALLY from aiwchuckleheads!) and DOESN'T know who I would answer, you need to go and, I don't know, hit yourself in the face.

He wears lots of purple and is pretty faaaaaaaabulous. We'd have tea and cakes, and act real crazy <3 ...And then I'd totally jump him~ force him to live under my bed hopefully the night would end with a kiss. :3

Ehehehehee *geekgeekgeek*
HATTER MY LOVE! I WILL FIND YOU!
<3Alice

p.s. strtwearinpurpl = <33333333333333333333

So for NaNoWriMo, I was going to work on a story called Ghostkraft.

After re-reading my last chapter of Tea Quiero and enjoying it immensely ("OMFG WHAT HAPPENS NEX--- Oh wait...") I've decided that I'm going to work on Tea Quiero instead. =)







In other news, I'm feeling a LOT better today than I was last night, and I think much of that has to do with the entry I posted just FLOWING out of me and getting it OUT. It took me a while last night to just... chill out. Today I meditated and sat outside for a while enjoying the weather and meditating on fall and the seasons and I really felt peaceful. Thank you all.

I've never lost a family member that has been life-long in my life. There was my biological grandfather, Oliver (We call him Tex), who lived in Florida, but I didn't really know him. I regret that. It wasn't my choice. How could I really know someone who lived far away, whom I had only seen briefly, and whom I, as a young young girl, didn't know how to know?

I need to take a break from my paper because I'm having trouble. My grandfather-- the one my Grandma remarried when she divorced Tex-- is in the hospital. He is not getting any better. I had felt intuitively before he was admitted to the hospital that he wasn't going to be around much longer.

I feel now, and I feel like I know, that my grandfather is dying. My aunts are flying in this weekend to see him. I already did. I went with my cousin to see him before he got worse. He didn't look so good then and that's when I knew. I just... knew. I told him that we loved him. That I loved him.

I have to explain myself. For the past few years I've called him my step-grandfather because I felt so detached from him, and it detached me further. When I was younger, I can't remember much but I know that he intimidated me. He sexually harassed me and though he never really molested me, there are memories of encounters with him as a young girl that bordered such cases, and I was afraid of him. I was afraid of being alone with him. He is often raunchy with my mother too, and this angers me.

As human beings, we cannot take back the past. But I am so torn up. I'm on the verge of tears as I write this, but I know I have to do this while I still feel there is something to be said, as heart-wrenching as it may be. My feelings on this are not going to change. But I need to say this now.

This experience-- seeing him weaken and succumb to illness, has been very increasingly hard. My mother calls me to tell me how he's doing, and he only worsens. She says she wants to keep me informed so that nothing is a shock to me. It won't be. I feel like... I feel like he's slipping away already. I'm just glad that I've been given the chance to say goodbye, to reach forward in love, to forgive.

Oh Gods.

It's really really impacted my life in a spiritual way. Wiccans often speak of these "mysteries" in life... Things you can't be told, but have to experience. Until now, I really haven't put much thought into such things. Lately, I've been noticing the way the world works in strange, wonderful ways, and in not-so-wonderful ways. It's like viewing the world from outside yourself. ...I can't seem to explain this either. You can read this journal entry and understand my sadness and my grief, but you cannot feel what I am feeling. This is how the world works.

I wrote this on Facebook, but this is how I am feeling, it is an affirmation that I needed to make: I believe that only when someone you know is dying, do you truly appreciate life, learn the art of forgiveness, and realize that life is a wheel. It turns. We must accept these things. Yes, it is hard, and we are allowed to grieve and feel helpless, but we must also learn that life will go on and where there is death, there will also be beauty. Hold on to that beauty. Hold on to it.

I may be feeling something I've never felt before in my life, and will certainly feel again, but I know that the world is also beautiful. Death is a part of life, just as Birth is. There will always be that balance. I am a human being. I feel sadness. I mourn. But while I undergo that process, I must also learn to see the world through this new set of eyes.

<3Allison

I really don't know what to do about this paper. I hope I get it done.

tea_holic's Halloween party:

astronomylover dressed as the love child of George Clooney and Chandra Levy.
balderrask dressed as the Lethargic Power Ranger.
bubble dressed as your father.
crimsonescapade dressed as Warren G. Harding.
cyndi_lauper didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
deadgirlsliekme didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
docsgirl dressed as "Bones" McCoy from "Star Trek".
dragongal8813 dressed as a igneous ideal.
dreamshadows dressed as a cow.
edieluvsu dressed as a fullback for the Ravens.
except_europa dressed as Sybil - except that Sybil didn't show but the other 18 personalities did.
fignewtonrabbid dressed as a very fake witch-doctor complete with a collection of shrunken skulls.
foxdiva9 dressed as the Governor of Wisconsin.
glancesherlock dressed as Barney the dinosaur.
heyireadalittle dressed as the Vicomte des Boules-Velues.
ivy_sylvan dressed as Jack the Ripper in a time machine, complete with gory knives, though it looked more like the love child of Fidel Castro and Kirsten Dunst.
kathyfraggle dressed as Nosferatu the Supreme Vampire.
krystalraven dressed as Pavlova the ballerina -- dancing on point too.
ladybow dressed as Ivan the Terrible of Russia.
ladybows_fs dressed as legendary space hero Punch Deadlift.
landunderwave dressed as a Level 11 paladin, though it looked more like Elizabeth Regina on steroids and roller skates.
lezi dressed as Tiffani-Amber Thiessen.
magdaleneveen dressed as a evil human resources overseer.
melpierson dressed as a character from Harry Potter and the Anvil of Victory.
merybast dressed as the Cardinal of Lear.
nokturnel dressed as a bottle of Immudaletra.
nomatch4me dressed as Optimus Prime.
persephonerose dressed as Beyonce Knowles riding a rabbit.
pirategeisha dressed as Tori Amos.
queenmunchkin gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as Adam-the-first-man but the fig-leaf was far too big.
roeita dressed as Comic Book Guy.
samanthairis dressed as Camilla Parker-Bowles when she becomes Queen.
saress dressed as Josephine Baker but the banana "skirt" didn't survive the night.
seltzeraddict dressed as Mde. Lachienne Foutue d'Enfer -- you don't wanna know.
shadyblacksheep dressed as a laser printer.
sifukatara dressed as a Adrienne Witt AssociatedCooperative employee.
sloth523 dressed as a character from a Super Mario game, and it suited them disturbingly well.
strtwearinpurpl dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen with her very own conjoined Ashley.
sundedesneides dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Booger Burgertush".
tea_holic dressed as a delivery.
thewellnspindle dressed as Tom Cruise.
tyrus forgot to put on clothes!
widowodadjian dressed as a walking Guillotine.
xxloreleixx dressed as a character from "Million Dollar Baby".
zombiexvomit dressed as Helga the wisewoman, although the live snake was a mistake.

Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
Created by sigma7: More info here.

Some of these are pretty funny!

"Are you working right now or can I fuck you for free?"

...Thank you, Jeff Mach. lmfao
James thought it was funny too, but if it was actually meant, I think he would have punched him. XD

I'll be your best friend?

<3Alice

Who is going to do it this year?

I'm at least going to try. I figure I'll use it to write out most of GhostKraft, even though it will also be part-comic. I'll just type out those parts.


Find me!!! I just signed up today as amethystlust.

^_^ *is excited*

I hate how college prevents me from making art and having no life.

Screw you college, you cock-blocker of artistic vision~!!!

Blackbird singing in the dead of night;
Take these broken wings and learn to fly.
All-
your-
life-
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night;
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see.
All-
your-
life-
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly-
Blackbird fly-
Into the light of the dark black night--

Went to NY Renaissance Faire today for Tommy's birthday. I dressed more Victorian though (go figure) haha. It was awesome to see everyone again!! Tommy, Steph&Brendan, Friend!James, Kodi... Eee <3.

Tommy celebrated his first day as a 21 year old by buying mead. I'm pretty jealous because I'm dying to try it (even if I might not like it. It's the fact I can say "I WANT A GLASS OF MEAD!" and try it that appeals to me most I think lol). Two more months until I'm 21!!!! Too bad Ren Faire closes tomorrow for the year =(

Watched Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew" being performed, which was pretty funny. Then James realized that the guy playing Petruchio was the SAME GUY who played Romeo in "Romeo and Juliet" when we saw it ON THE FRESHMAN YEAR FIELD TRIP. SIX YEARS AGO. And We laughed then, because during the balcony scene, Romeo was wearing tight tights and... well... let's say he was pretty happy to see Juliet. >_>

Yeah that was pretty weird.

I BOUGHT A CORSET TODAY. Omfg I LOVE it!!! Tommy knew I wanted one so he was like DRAGGING me along enthusiastically looking for one. He pointed to Heart's Desire and said, "Hey, they make nice clothes! Let's look here!" So I spied a black corset hanging up and I was eyeing it and wishing it was in my size.

Laura, the girl who helped me, comes up, Tommy and Steph tell her I'm interested in underbusts, and then looks at the one that I'm holding in my hands COVETING and says, "Actually, this probably will fit you." In my head I'm like, "Yeah, okay. Highly Improbable."

And as she is lacing me into this thing, all I hear is Steph, Brendan, and Tommy making these high-pitched and amusing "oOOOoooOohhh!" sounds every time it got tighter. LMAO

Long story short, I ended up buying the thing and thank Gods SO!James wasn't there because Tommy kept feeling my waist and saying "I want to hug you but I'm afraid you won't be able to breathe!"

I have a 30 inch waist in this! <3 It makes my posture upright, makes me look pretty-- well-- sexy, and holds everything in. It's also well-made. *sighs* I love it. I just tightened myself into it again a little bit ago. (Mostly to see if I could do it myself ahaha! But yeah, got it first-try no problem). If I could, I'd wear it all the effing time. I'll have to post a picture?


Gods, I'm such a frigging Victorian. lol
<3Alice